


Nine Moments

by thusspakekate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thusspakekate/pseuds/thusspakekate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson's relationship, from the beginning to the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nine Moments

The little girl in a frilly pink dress tried not to show her hurt feelings when the blonde-haired boy across the room flinched and hid himself behind his mother's legs.

"Now Draco, darling, that is no way to treat your new friend," the tall, slender woman cooed. "Be a little gentleman and go introduce yourself."

Draco tugged on his mother's skirt and she bent down to him.

"But mum," he whined. "She's a girl!"

The woman laughed and affectionately smoothed down her young son's flaxen hair.

"Yes she is, but she's a very nice girl. Surely you don't hate all girls. I'm a girl and you like me. You two will have fun playing together while Mrs. Parkinson and I take tea."

Narcissa Malfoy gave her son a soft swat on the bum and pushed him towards the doe-eyed girl with short black curls. With one last desperate, pleading look back to his mother, he crossed the room and stood in front of his new playmate.

He held out his hand in greeting, just as he'd seen his father do countless times before.

"Hello. I'm Draco. Draco Malfoy."

The girl looked at the hand and back up to the boy's pale face. She wrinkled her nose. Instead of taking his hand, she dropped into an inelegant curtsy.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson. Pleasure to meet you."

She stood and they stared at each other, unsure of what to do next.

Suddenly Pansy moved. All Draco saw was a flash of pink and black and then he was on his butt, staring up at her.

"Tag! You're it!" She squealed and then ran from the room.

Draco watched her disappear. He was very confused, no one had ever pushed him down before.

"You'd better go catch her" Narcissa raised her eyebrows at her son.

The two older women watched with smiles as Draco, suddenly remembering himself, pulled up from the ground and ran after her.

"Hey! Not fair! You cheated! I wasn't ready!"

Pansy responded with a high-pitched squeal. Their childish yells and laughter bounced off the cool marble of the Manor's interior as they raced out into the garden to play.

* * *

Pansy nervously smoothed out her new robes as she sat alone in the otherwise empty train compartment. It was her first time taking the Hogwarts Express to school and she had no older siblings to sit with her and calm her nerves.

She heard the door slide open and looked up to see a blonde-haired boy she knew very well.

"Pansy! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere." Draco greeted her as he stepped into the compartment.

Pansy bounced to her feet and threw her arms around him in a great hug. He remained stiff—Malfoy men didn't hug, after all—but he didn't push her away. Pansy began to babble, words spilling excitedly from her mouth as she talked about how good it was to see him, about how nervous and happy and scared she was to finally be going to Hogwarts.

Draco listened to her politely, if not a little annoyed by the girlish way she chattered on. When paused to take a deep breath, he took the opportunity to interrupt her.

"Come on Pans, I have a compartment for us up near the front. I've already met a couple of other kids who say they want to be in Slytherin too. Not the brightest lot, but they're pureblood. Come and meet them."

She followed him hesitantly down the narrow train corridor. When the reached the compartment Draco stopped and turned to her.

"Ready?"

"Draco...I'm nervous. What if they don't like me?"

"Oh don't be daft, everyone likes you!"

He rolled his eyes at her. Girls could be so ridiculous.

But when he continued, his voice was gentler.

"This is where you belong, Pansy, where  _we_  belong. Come on, it will be brilliant. Hogwarts is going to be brilliant. Everything is going to be brilliant."

She looked at him with a nervous smile.

He held out his hand to her.

"Together?" he asked.

A genuine smile replaced her nervous one as she grabbed his outstretched hand.

Pansy rounded her shoulders and lifted her head high. If she was still scared, it didn't show. She squeezed his hand as he opened the door to their new compartment, to their new friends, to their new lives as a young witch and wizard.

They entered together.

* * *

Ever since they had found the petrified body of that annoying little Gryffindor muggleborn, Pansy had been scared. If the rumors were true, there was a monster lurking around the castle. The castle she lived in, the castle she  _slept_ in.

"Oh, don't tell me you're actually scared!"

Pansy miffed and straightened herself. "I'm not scared, Draco. I just want to be cautious, that's all. There is nothing wrong with be cautious."

Draco ignored her obvious lie.

"What have you to be scared about anyway? The thing only attacks mudbloods, and you're a pureblood."

Pansy flinched. She didn't like that word. It wasn't that she was entirely sympathetic to the plight of the muggleborn, but the word mudblood was just so vile, so nasty, so impolite. Her father used it sometimes, but only when he was drunk. Which, then again, was often. She wished Draco wouldn't toss it around so easily. It made him sound so common.

"No one knows that for sure. Its all rumors, isn't it? Draco, whatever it is that is hurting people, its  _dark magic._ Dark magic is a threat to everyone, dark magic doesn't care about blood status. I don't want to be the one who tests out your muggleborn-only theory."

Draco stared at her incredulously.

"Please, Draco," Pansy whinged. "It will only take a minute. I need to get this book from the library if I'm going to finish my Potions essay and I really don't want to walk around the castle alone. Oh fine, I'll admit it. I am scared! I am scared that there is a dark creature in this castle and that I'm going to be killed. I am a scared little girl who needs a big, strong boy to protect her from the monsters. But since there is no one around that fits that description, you'll have to do. Are you happy now? Now will you please get your lazy bum off the sofa and come with me?"

Draco sighed dramatically and stood. Pansy was being ridiculous, but he wouldn't make her go alone if she was actually that scared.

"Fine, but lets be quick. I don't want to be wandering around all night."

Pansy quirked an eyebrow.

"Why not? Not scared are you, Draco?"

"What? Of course I'm not scared. Malfoy's don't get scared." Draco puffed out his chest.

It was Pansy's turn to roll her eyes as they walked through the Slytherin portrait hole and out into the cold dungeon hallway. Draco quickly scanned the length of the corridor and Pansy smiled as she noticed the slightest frown of worry in his eyebrows. He might have been a little nervous (though certainly not scared, never scared!) but he could never say no Pansy.

* * *

"Does it hurt terribly, Draco?" Pansy asked as she leaned over his bed in the hospital wing.

"Of course it bloody hurts, I was almost mauled to death by a ruddy monster!" Draco snapped.

Pansy rolled her eyes, but continued to smooth his hair. He could be such a git sometimes—loud, arrogant, brash. But she supposed that's what she loved about him. Underneath the sneers and smirks he had developed as his coat of armor, he was still the little boy who chased her around the gardens of Malfoy Manor and cried shamelessly for his mother when he tripped and skinned his knees.

"You shouldn't have insulted the Hippogriff, Draco. That oaf of a professor said as much."

"I know," he grumbled, turning away with a grunt. "Peculiar way to comfort an injured person, Pans, telling them its all their fault."

Pansy grabbed his chin and turned his face back towards her. "Draco...it  _was_  your fault. But that doesn't mean I want to see you in pain. That doesn't mean you don't deserve comfort."

Pansy stared into his soft grey eyes and saw sadness there.

"What if I don't though? I wouldn't comfort me. If Crabbe or Goyle had done what I did and ended up here as a result, I wouldn't be sitting here with them while they recovered. I'd think they deserved that they got for being so bloody thick."

Pansy leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I guess that's why I'm a better person than you are," she said with a proud smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Don't treat me like a child."

"Well, then don't act like one."

The two friends exchanged small smiles. Draco knew that whatever happened, whatever mess he got himself in, Pansy would be there for him. She'd hold his hand, she'd tend his wounds, she'd listen to his rants. Her sense of loyalty was strong. She'd defend him against others even if she knew he was wrong, but once they were alone she'd turn around and let him know he was bring a prat. She kept him honest...or as honest as Malfoy man could be expected to be. She didn't judge, she always understood. She understood him.

Pansy broke the silence. "Well, I've got to go, its almost curfew. Will you be at breakfast?"

"I think so," he smiled.

When she reached the doors to the hospital wing, Pansy turned around to take one last look at Draco, sprawled out on flimsy hospital bed with his aristocratic features squeezed tight in pain. She smiled sadly. He was going to break her heart someday.

* * *

Draco looked positively smashing in his velvet dress robes. He was easily the most handsome boy in their year, maybe even the whole school, and he had asked _her_  to accompany him to the Yule Ball. Ever since he'd asked her three weeks prior, Pansy fretted over the nature of the date. Were they going as friends? Or something more? Was there anything more to them than friendship? Would there ever be? She knew what she wanted, but for the first time in her life, she wasn't sure what Draco was thinking.

"Pansy, you look beautiful. The pink suits you."

Draco's voice interrupted her anxious thoughts as he leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. When she felt his hand snake around her waist, she blushed and felt her knees turn to jelly.

"Thank you, Draco. You look amazing as well. Who knew there was such handsome young man hiding beneath that surly demeanor?"

It was Draco's turn to blush, although Pansy couldn't tell if it was at the compliment or insult.

"Shall we?" he extended the crook of his arm and Pansy took it with a smile.

They spent the evening laughing and dancing, drinking spiked pumpkin juice with their friends and making fun of that horrible carpet that the Weasel was trying to pass off as dress robes. Slowly couples began to disappear from the Great Hall in search of secluded corners in which to snog. Draco led Pansy onto the floor and they leaned together, swaying slowly to the soft music.

Pansy closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the fantasy that this was real, that they were together, and this was their life. Draco absently traced circles into the small of her back as he held her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. Pansy sighed contentedly and melted into the warmth of his chest.

When the song ended they pulled apart reluctantly. Pansy smiled dreamily up at Draco and saw something in his eyes she'd never seen before. Tenderness, vulnerability, desire. It had to be the firewhiskey, she thought, but she forgot to breathe anyway.

"Pansy..." Draco started nervously, as if unsure of his words. "May I..."

Draco didn't get the chance to finish his question because Pansy had thrown her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. Their mouths crashed together in an inexpert kiss. It was awkward and a little bit slobbery, but it was the most amazing moment of Pansy's young life. Draco was startled by her enthusiasm but quickly recovered and relaxed into the kiss. He held Pansy's head in his hands and slowed their movements, forcing her to follow his lead. They didn't bother to find a place to hide, they'd snog whether they damn well felt like it, thank you very much.

When they finally separated Draco smiled and leaned his forehead against Pansy's.

"...kiss you?" He finished with smile.

Pansy titled her head to give him access to her mouth and smirked. "Anytime, darling."

And so he did.

* * *

The idea came to her after she and the rest of the Inquistiorial Squad has busted the Gryffinbores and their band of merry morons. A room in Hogwarts that gave whoever called upon it whatever they desired? You'd think the founders would have know better than to put such a room in a castle full of hormonal teenagers.

"What are we doing here, Pans?" Draco asked, wrapping his arms around Pansy's waist from behind and pressing his lips into the crook between her shoulders and her neck.

"Wait and see, darling." She purred, relaxing back into his touch as she gripped her wand and closed her eyes.

_I require a room in which I can shag Draco Malfoy's brains out._

Smiling, Pansy pulled Draco through the door that appeared. They stepped inside a small, cozy room that was lit only by a roaring fire and furnished with nothing but a large four poster bed covered in luxurious green and silver bedding. It was a bit sparse, but it would do.

Draco turned and raised an eyebrow at Pansy.

"And what did you reckon we'd do in here?"

His smile was knowing.

"Well, I wasn't planning to duel you, if that's what you were thinking," Pansy answered smartly, a sly grin playing at her lips.

Draco advanced on her, grabbing Pansy by the waist and pushing her back against the door they'd just entered through. He bent down as if he meant to kiss her, but stopped and hovered his lips inches above her own.

"But darling, that's all we ever do. Call it what you want. Shagging..."

He bent down and sucked at the sensitive skin of Pansy's neck.

"making love..."

He kissed a trail along her jawline.

"fucking..."

He whispered this into her ear as he sucked the fleshy bottom of her earlobe into his mouth and bit gently. She whimpered in response.

"It's really just dueling in the end, isn't it? Fighting for control, for dominance."

He ground himself into her roughly. She moaned loudly this time.

Pansy fought through her lust-clouded brain to regain herself. She grabbed Draco's arms tightly and pushed him off of her and lead him backwards through the room. His legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell onto it. Pansy climbed onto him, straddling his waist.

"I guess you're right, Draco. All we've ever done is duel," she smiled down at him when he heard his sharp intake of breathe as she rocked herself against the hardness in his pant. "Lucky for you, I always win."

* * *

"Draco...please..." Pansy whined.

He was sitting on the sofa in the Slytherin common room, his head in his hands, his whole body hunched over. It was almost four in the morning and they were alone. Pansy slid in the space between Draco and the back of the sofa. She brought her hands to his shoulders and tried to rub the tension from them.

"Darling..." she continued, her voice pleaing. "Please, tell me what is going on."

Draco rolled his shoulders in a pitiful attempt to shrug Pansy off, but her grip remained firm.

"There is nothing going on."

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, don't lie to me!" The desperation had been replaced with a stern, almost scolding tone. "I know you better than you know yourself and even if I didn't, a blind man could see that there is something terribly wrong. You've been pushing me away for months. You used to tell me everything and now we rarely even talk. We don't even shag anymore!"

She rested her forehead on his back. Her voice went very quiet.

"It's your family, isn't it? It's you-know-who."

Pansy felt Draco stiffen, but he didn't respond. She took it as a sign of assent.

"Please, tell me. You know can tell me anything. We've always told each other everything, please don't stop now."

"I can't tell you, Pans. And even if I could, I wouldn't. I don't want you getting mixed up in my mess. I don't want you involved."

"But maybe I can help?"

Draco laughed. It was bitter and empty.

"You can't help me. No one can. I can't even help myself."

Pansy snaked her hands around his waist, hoping her touch could say all the things she couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Pansy. But I think it'd be better—for your sake—if we..."

Draco's voice trailed off and Pansy let out a startled cry. He couldn't really be serious. He couldn't really be chucking her. Not her, not Draco! She was going to marry him one day, she just knew it.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't you dare say anything you can't take back."

Draco pulled himself out of Pansy's grip and stood from the couch. He looked down at her, his expression a mixture of grief and anger.

"I'm sorry. But I have to do this. I can't see you anymore, Pansy. I couldn't live with myself if I knew anything happened to you because of me. Not that I see myself living much longer, but you understand..."

She couldn't believe this was happening.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, Draco. It doesn't suit you."

"Melodramatic, am I?" Draco asked as he frantically shoved off his blazer and struggled to undo the cuffs of his button-down.

He pulled the sleeve back to reveal to Pansy the dark, angry looking tattoo. Pansy let out a gasp and unconsciously scrambled back on the sofa to get away from it, but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

"But Draco! When? Why? You're just a boy!"

Another bitter, empty laugh.

"I'm not a boy. I'm a Malfoy."

He lowered the sleeve of his shirt but did not move.

"So now you understand. I love you, Pansy, I do. More than you know, more than I've ever even let on. I'm not one for romantics, but I wanted to marry you and let you boss me around for the rest of our lives. I think you wanted that as well. But its not possible anymore, everything has changed. I've been given a mission and I fear I shall die whether I succeed or not. But at least this way, I know you'll live long enough to find someone else to boss around."

Pansy couldn't make out the features of his face, her vision was blurred by the tears that welled in her eyes. She blinked and let the tears fall. Everything was happening so fast, nothing made sense. She stood and walked to Draco, taking his hands in hers.

"You know I don't like people making decisions for me, but if you're in that deep with you-know-who, I won't argue. Do what you think you must, but not think for a second that there is anyone else in this world that I want to boss around."

Draco's soft chuckle was genuine this time. He raised his hand to cup her cheek and she leaned into his familiar touch.

"Pansy, there is no one in this world you  _don't_  want to boss around."

Pansy huffed and all but stomped her foot in frustration.

"You know what I meant," she pouted.

They stared at each other and Pansy knew that he was saying goodbye.

"I understand, Draco—"

"You always do," he interrupted with a fond smile.

"I don't like it,  _any_  of it, but I understand. But can't we have one last night? Please. And come tomorrow I'll stay away, I won't ask you anything, I won't even sit with you at dinner if you don't want. But please give us one more night so I have something to hold on to."

Draco kissed her softly, softer than he'd ever kissed her before. Pansy's heart swelled and she felt as though it was going to break through her ribcage. But instead, it just broke. When he pulled back her face was wet with tears and she didn't stop crying for a moment as they made love for the last time.

* * *

"I'm going back," Draco whispered into Pansy's ear as they swiftly made their way through the passage from Hogwarts to The Hog's Head.

"You're doing what?" Pansy stopped so abruptly that a nervous second-year Ravenclaw bumped into her. She shoved the child to the side quickly and ushered Draco out of the stream of scared students. They huddled next to the wall.

"I'm going back to fight."

Pansy set her jaw and crossed her arms across her chest.

"For which side?"

Draco avoided her eyes.

"Don't be stupid, Draco. You're out now! You're safe! You don't have to go back to the castle. Be smart. Stay neutral,  _stay alive_."

"I have chosen my side. I am going back to fight for my family, for their lives and for their honor."

Something inside Pansy snapped. She had spent the past two years watching the world crumble around the boy she loved. She'd seen the light and life drain out of him. She watched him walk through the halls an empty shell of a person. She couldn't reach out and hold him the way he once had. They had taken everything from him and they had taken him from here. And here he was, willing to die defending those who stolen his childhood, his life, his future from him.

"You didn't choose a side, you had a side chosen for you! We all did! This isn't a new war, this is just a continuation of a war that began before we were even born, except now we're supposed to die in the place of our parents! How can you fight for the honor of your family—of your father—when you know he'd throw your life away to save his own skin. His reputation means more to him than you do!"

Draco trembled with rage.

"Don't you dare talk about my father like that! You don't know what the hell you're on about!"

"Don't I, though? Why did you take the bloody mark in the first place? To make up for your father's failure. You thought you were going to die. You  _knew_  you were going to die. You were  _willing_  to die to restore honor to the disgraced Malfoy name. You even thought  _I_  might die. You were willing to sacrifice  _me_  to pay for your father's debts. And what did you father do when he got out of Azkaban? Did he thank you for your sacrifice? For you pain? For your willingness to die for him? Did he take you and your mum and run and try to keep you safe? Did he even try to protect you from the man who set you up to die? "

Draco grabbed Pansy by the arms and shoved her against roughly the wall of the passage, bringing his mother's wand to her throat.

"Don't!" he hissed in warning.

But Pansy didn't stop, she couldn't stop. Everything she'd thought and felt for the past year and half tumbled out from her mouth with a venomous tone she'd never used against Draco before.

"No, Draco, he didn't. He let you-know-who move into your fucking house. Did you enjoy having the Dark Lord as a house guest, Draco? Did he do his share of the chores and treat the house elves well? Did you share a lovely cup of tea in front of the fire before retiring for the evening or did he force you to destroy what little soul you have left in the name of your father? I can understand not wanting to fight  _against_  your father, but its fucking stupid, its fucking  _suicide_  to go back in there and fight  _for_  him."

Pansy stopped and took a breathe. She stared at Draco whose malicious gaze never faltered. Her heart broke when she saw the look of hatred in his eyes. He was full of so much hate and anger and now it was directed at her.

She dropped her eyes and started again, in a much softer voice.

"Please, Draco. Come to the village with me. Please don't be stupid. Please come, be safe. It all ends tonight, I can feel it. Please just let us live through this and then whatever happens,  _however_  it ends, we can deal with it. _Together_."

Draco's expression remained steely as he choked out his response.

"You don't understand."

Pansy looked up into Draco's cool gray eyes and started to cry for the first time since they'd said they'd broken up the year before. But she knew that this was their real goodbye. They were at a crossroads, a new way of life was about to dawn and they were not going to face it together. She didn't understand him anymore and she had always understood. She searched in his eyes for any signs of the little blonde boy she'd met more than a decade prior, but found nothing.

"I suppose I don't."

Draco loosened his grip and lowered his wand. Neither could stand to look at the other. There was so much left unsaid.

Pansy broke the silence.

"If you go back in there, I will never forgive you. I swear that to you now, Draco. Never."

Draco moved forward and pressed his lips against Pansy's forehead. She wrapped her arms around him. They stood there for a minute, five minutes, fifteen minutes, however long it took for them to silently communicate everything they needed to say. The passage way was now empty and Pansy's sobs echoed loudly.

Draco stepped back and took his Pansy's face in his hands.

"Goodbye, Pansy."

He pressed one firm, final, dry kiss to her lips and then turned and walked back towards the castle.

* * *

Pansy watched as the cartoon bride and groom kissed for the umpteenth time on the front of the invitation. She smiled sadly.

A familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts and back into reality. She looked up from her seat at the cafe table and saw Draco Malfoy standing awkwardly in front of her.

"I meant to owl you, before mother sent out the invitations—"

Pansy motioned to the empty chair opposite her and took a sip from her cup of coffee, hoping the large mug would mask whatever silly emotion was showing on her face.

"—but every time I picked up the quill, I didn't know what to say."

"You figured it out eventually," Pansy smiled. She tried for an inviting, friendly smile, but it came off tight and forced. She had received a letter from him asking her to meet him for coffee two days after the invitation to his wedding had arrived. It was short, polite, and so very Malfoy. "You really didn't have to though. I mean, I would have understood if I hadn't even been invited at all."

Draco's smile was sad. "You would have understood, wouldn't you have?"

Pansy ignored him and continued.

"I mean, its not like we've really even spoken in seven years."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about that. I tried to get in touch with you many times at the beginning, but you always sent my owls back unopened."

Pansy shrugged and offered no explanation. He didn't need one.

"Besides, you're a friend of the family's. And, I hope, a friend of mine. I couldn't imagine not sending you an invitation at least."

Pansy snorted.

"The last thing I ever imagined I would be getting was an  _invitation_  to your wedding."

"What do you mean by that?"

Pansy sighed and began to gather her purse and coat.

"Nothing, Draco. I meant nothing by it. This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come."

She stood, but Draco grabbed her hand. His eyes were begging her not to leave, not yet.

Pansy pulled her hand away and sat back down with a frown.

"What is it you want, Draco? We're not friends. I'm sorry, but we're not. And I don't think we'll ever be."

"We used to be."

"We used to be a lot of things, things that we're not anymore. We used to be children, we use to be friends, we used to be lovers. There was a time when I was sure that it would be my name printed next to yours on a wedding invitation. But that's not my name, is it? We're nothing to each other now."

"So that's it then? Everything we've been through together, everything we've shared, its all  _nothing_ now?"

Pansy leaned forward and lowered her voice, embarrassed to be having such a personal conversation in public but unwilling to go anywhere more private with him.

"What we had was something, something special, we both know that. But its over now. That doesn't make it any less important or beautiful, but the past is still the past. And from what I figure, you've got quite the future ahead of you."

Pansy sat back up and smirked, one eyebrow raised.

"How far along is she?" she asked in her normal tone.

Draco's eyes widened.  _How could she possibly know?_

"Oh, close your mouth before you catch something with it. Of course she's up the duff, why else would you marry her? Astoria Greenglass? Daphne's baby sister? Please, Draco, really. Don't insult me by assuming I ever believed you were  _actually_  in love with her."

Draco straightened in his seat. It was his duty to defend his betrothed.

"She's a very fine woman, she's smart and ki—"

Pansy held her hand up to stop him.

"Smart and kind and generous, not to mention a total bloody bore, unimaginative in bed, and pregnant with your bastard heir. I know, I get it. Please, Draco, I'm from an old pureblood family. I know how this works, I've heard it all before."

Draco chuckled. There was the Pansy he knew and loved, flippant, rude, and able to read him like a book.

"I've missed you, Pans. Really, I have."

Pansy glanced at him sideways, debating in her mind how much she was willing to confess to him.

"I've missed you too, Draco. But even if you weren't about to be married to another woman—"

"—We have an arrangement." Draco interrupted quickly.

"Well, bully for you."

"We never planned for this, you know. We weren't even dating properly. It was a one-off really and it just kind of...surprised us."

Pansy's eyes narrowed.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, that's some nerve you've got. I know you are not sitting here trying to arrange an affair before you've even walked down the aisle. And with a woman you haven't spoken to in years? That's quite presumptuous of you."

"No! No! I was just saying..."

Draco trailed off. He rubbed his tired face with his hands and ran his fingers through his pale blonde hair.

"I don't know what I was saying. Please, I didn't mean to insult you. I just, I miss you is all. I've never stopped thinking about you. I want you back in my life, in any way that I can have you. You were my best friend for so long and I feel lost without you."

Pansy's could feel her heart softening, but only for a moment. No, she had to remain strong.

"I'm sorry, Draco. But this is your fault. I swore to you that day that if you went back to Hogwarts I would never forgive you. You had a choice between moving forward and making a life with me or running back into the fight to save your pride. You chose your pride over me and now I am choosing my pride over you. I've worked very hard to move on and get over what happened during the war, we all have. And of the things that I've left behind in the rubble of Hogwarts is any dream of a future with you in it. I don't mean to be cruel, but I must speak plainly. You made your choice. You chose to be my past, not my future. I'm sorry."

Pansy rose to leave, but Draco grabbed her hands for the second time.

"But Pansy! I never had any choice, you know that. My choices were made for me."

"Trying to use my own words against me, Malfoy? How very Slytherin of you."

Pansy smiled and gave a small, genuine laugh.

"Good to know some things stay the same."

She leaned over place her forehead against his.

"I love you, Draco, I do. I always have and I fear I always will. But we're not children anymore. Too much has happened and I can't go back there. You shouldn't want to either. Forget your stupid arrangement with Astoria and learn to love her properly, please. If you've got to marry her because of the brat, you might as well try and make it work. I hear she's very smart and kind. If she's still boring in bed, there's always the Imperius curse. Be happy with her, do it for me. And please, give my regrets to your mother. I won't be able to make it to the wedding, I'll be out of the country."

"Where are you going?" Draco asked in a voice that was on the verge of breaking.

"I don't know yet."

Pansy smiled and kissed Draco's forehead.

"Goodbye Draco. I love you."

Pansy turned and walked out of the cafe. She knew she made the right choice, even if it hurt.


End file.
